TOBY PETZOLD

When Al Gore accepted the Nobel Prize, he said that we human beings are the problem.

If that sort of self-loathing Leftist pessimism isn’t the direct descendant of the concepts of original sin and the unredeemed sinner, then it is their retarded nephew. Therefore, what Gore and the Gaiists are practicing is religion. Moreover, it is utterly derivative of Judeo-Christian morality, which must be just awful for these tweed jacketed and besandaled morans to finally recognize: “Wha-? We’re just as trapped by the oppressive orthodoxy of sin and redemption as mere Christianists and Neocons?!”

Just quit tripping and settle down, hippies. Come up with something slightly less insane than to promise a completely carbon-neutral America within ten years. Jesus, Gore! Put down that bong and be serious. 

Is the phenomenon of synesthesia evidence of a purely physiological mind-soul complex —as manifested through the mechanics of neurology— wherein a system error persists and is well-tolerated, or is it just one more instance of witchcraft and demonism? I say the former: errors are the irritation that begets a pearl —and what moves mutation, the engine of our being. Error itself is the final proof of material and objective reality, for we do not know what we are but by what we are not. It is the imperfection in our being that finally distinguishes, see. It’s the snag. The nub of the gist of the rub of the Not and the Am.

This stuff about mixing human with cow is very unsettling. You know full well, though, that the way to godhood will come by way of financial incentives —sick though it may often be.

But if they come up with a way for me to sport some horsecock in me trousers, I’m all in, jackson! I’ve been champing at the bit to repopulate the world in just this way, so there’s one more reason why this is a great time to be alive.

What noisy cats are we.

I just heard Barrack Hussein Obama say that it’s the drug companies that are keeping “change” from happening. Hmmm.

Do you know how many millions of Americans owe their mental and physical health and, indeed, their very lives to the use of pharmaceuticals? That’s a big “change” from a century ago when people routinely died from diabetes, infections, cancer, etc. that can be easily treated and controlled today through drugs. There’s not a person reading these words who doesn’t know a friend or loved one whose life hasn’t been lengthened and improved by the research and development dollars spent by “Big Pharma.”

Let’s keep our demagoguery informed, shall we?

Jim Hoft mines from the Gorebot’s speech today before the Nobel Committee the motto that should follow him to the compost heap where his grave shall be: “We Are What Is Wrong.”

How succinctly put is the self-loathing essence of the Left. What a window on their soul!

It’s funny how a casual comment from another that touches on a very specific dislike of your own is like a shared moment of perfect, ineffable truth. Writes Glenn Reynolds:

I’M SKEPTICAL ABOUT THE CLAIMS THAT THE fake butter flavoring in microwave popcorn causes lung disease in people who eat it, but I have to say that I’ve always found it disgusting. Maybe my sense of smell is different, but to me it’s always smelled more like rancid motor oil than butter, and I always hate it when people are microwaving popcorn at the office. So if people want to ban the stuff based on dubious science, well, I’ll be less upset than I might otherwise be . . . .

I made the mistake a long time ago at work of making too much of my utter disgust at the smell of artificial butter-flavored microwave popcorn. I think it has possibly become the tool of the passive-aggressives with whom I work. But who can stand such a stench? Popcorn in general is nasty enough, but with that godawful shit added to it? It smells like a concoction of gym sock squeezings and rancid Parmesan cheese.

Hell, I hope they find out that microwave popcorn is the most carcinogenic thing since nuclear fall-out and ban it altogether.

I’m not offended by Larry Craig because of his homosexuality, but because he is a hypocrite who once had the power to actively deny gays their full civil rights. And, if I recall correctly, he used it.

Craig’s little misdemeanor is actually unrelated to his now-recognized homosexuality. People of all orientations enjoy the thrill of illicit sexual behavior. But the recklessness appalls and the absurdity of such closetedness is apparent.

I would ask my friends in the Republican Party —who love their country enough to know that its foreign policy must never again be lost to the degenerates in the other party— to carefully consider the value of its own anti-gay positions. Is it the Holy Bible that gives you the authority to ignore the science of sexuality? Homosexuality is as old as the species. God said, “Let there be light —and it was fabulous.” You know that. Gender preferences are innate. Is there really any question? Moral conservatism consists of a hell of a lot more than denouncing and demeaning homosexuals; it should, instead, extol and practice the virtues of commitment and honest sexual being.

Take it from an involuntarily celibate old man: human beings should have a right to be what they are as sexual creatures, but they owe it to others to have complete dignity about it and to take absolute responsibility. We are only separate from the animals by our human being —the eternal mind of the species, thinking itself into existence.

Lying to the world about what you are as a man for the sake of political ambition? I reject that as wrong and still unnecessary.

I don’t know much about him, but I have always liked Richard Carmona. He’s a smart man, a bad-ass, and a real hero. 

His criticisms of this Administration for its ideological censorship of his public statements while he served as our nation’s Surgeon General are welcome to me. That’s because conservatives in this country need to have men like Carmona slap them in the face and say, “If you don’t want degenerate Dhimmicrats running this country, you’d best get over your bullshit views on homosexuals, birth control, abortion, and whatever else.” And that’s a fact. Republicans are risking everything by letting the evangelicals bully them.

Thanks, General, for being legitimate.

Setting: Me and another semi-country boy. Earlier this evening. In the parking lot at Target. Stopping in my tracks to look up into a beautiful Texas sky and behold a fantastic storm migrating to the northwest. The whole, sobering grey and blue palette.

Pardner, passing by: Don’t look good.

Me: Purdy, though.

The Moon will save the human race—

Were loonies beaten off their path—

The unthrown stone remains in place—

Through orbitary aftermath.

A blast unguarded —global fire—

Here’s thirty pieces, you fucking liars—

Now go and reckon what you did

When you did nothing but blame the Yid.