06.12.09
Posted in America, Big Media, Republicans, comedy, personal, stupidity at 8:55 pm by Toby Petzold
When I was a kid, I enjoyed the hell out of David Letterman. He had a huge influence on mine and my brothers’ senses of humor.
But I stopped watching him a very long time ago because he turned into a miserable prick who enjoys hurting people’s feelings and humiliating them. I even remember the moment I vowed to stop watching him. One night —maybe 15 years ago?— he had on an old gentleman farmer who had brought a collection of vegetables he had grown that resembled famous faces. A potentially cute little segment that Letterman turned into a vicious attack on this old man’s dignity. Dolly Parton was a guest and I believe she even remained for that part of the program. I very much doubt the grand dame of Sevier County, Tennessee appreciated Letterman’s assholishness, although I don’t remember her reaction for a fact. (Maybe I should write her and ask if she recalls that night. I’ve seen her on a lot of programs lately and she’s as charming as ever.)
Anyway, this joke Letterman made about what is essentially the rape of Sarah Palin’s 14 year-old daughter the other night was stupid, mean, and unfunny. He should be a man and make a full and unambiguous apology. But no one is going to make him because he has bought the good opinion of asshole liberals everywhere with his gratuituous swipes at Republicans. He’s insulated against criticism because of his politics. That’s a bad thing for our culture and for women, in case you were wondering.
(Yeah, I know I’ve written this same post before, but Letterman’s a jerk who deserves for his mistreatment of that old man to be remembered forever. And now he can be remembered as someone who likes to make cracks about young girls being raped.)
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03.24.09
Posted in America, Big Media, Bush Administration, New Economy, Obama Administration, Republicans, Unexplained Mysteries at 8:07 pm by Toby Petzold
I just watched the President’s latest prime time news conference and couldn’t help noticing that he enjoys blaming his political opponents for everything. If his Socialist solutions to our economic problems are crazy or if he can’t even demonstrate the most basic level of competence in doing his job, it must be because Bushitler spiked the trees. What a crybaby! “I inherited this mess! Waaahhhhh!”
Nobody —except partisan assholes like Pelosi, Reid, and Frank— wants to pass this outrageous budget of his because they recognize how tremendous the debt will become. I mean world-ending debt. It will break us over and do lasting damage to our economy and stability. Who the hell does he think he’s kidding with this shit?!
He may still have his little Marxist fantasies of guaranteeing everybody’s economic equality, but Barack Obama’s about to walk into the Great Buzzsaw of Reality. America can’t afford his delusions. Let’s see if there’re still any Democrats left who have the stones to tell him no.
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03.11.09
Posted in America, Election of 2008, Election of 2010, Eminently Occidental, History, New Economy, Obama Administration, Republicans, religion at 7:34 pm by Toby Petzold
to Obama’s Neo-Socialism (need it be “Neo-”? I think it may just be “Retro-”) is Libertarianism. You know: “This land is my land”? “I’ll do what I cotton-pickin’ please”? “An honest day’s wages for an honest day’s work?” Well, it is only through embracing this old friend and natural partner that the GOP will succeed in the near electoral future.
This means getting well beyond just passing muster with the so-called Evangelical base. That shit needs to stop mattering now, brothers and sisters. Every good Christian knows that it is his or her duty to render unto Caesar, as well as to God. That’s because we are political animals and because we must live with the consequences of not only our own actions but even those of people we dislike and disrespect. That is the reality of politics in human society. You will not get above it. You will not get your way on every issue and you will never convince enough women that they have no choice over their bodies and you will not change enough souls, schools, or bus stops with your proselytizing and you will never be happy until you recognize that the genius of Protestant Christianity is in its fractiousness and in its frustrations with modernity and with what they used to call “the permissive society.” Y’all need the friction! You wouldn’t know what to do with your whitebread mega-churches if it came to running the real show, so just shut up and be grateful to God for easy Sunday mornings and the ladies who always wear their finest and the good lunch to be had after the ordeal is endured.
So now that you know that your theocracy will have to wait and that Darwin’s made it through to the next round and that Baby Jesus still loves him some tax cuts even in the depths of the Second Great Depression, start thinking of ways that you can work within the new identity of the Republican Party. No one is saying to abandon your principles or to abandon God and all the good things he’s made possible for you and yours, but when them carbon taxes start eating your ass out every workweek of driving the truck and hauling the kids around and y’alls pension plans are staying thin and Junior can’t get started on the schooling he’s gonna need after high school because you’ve got nothing extra put away, then you’ll remember how you let the Socialism of others replace the Opportunity that you’ve always worked for —and have just about always had.
There’s no doubt that Barack Obama lied his way into the Presidency and that a lot of people who thought they were doing the right thing have found themselves deceived into a lifetime of new taxes and burdens. Maybe even some moderate or “progressive” Republicans felt like the paradigm needed some shifting and, so, shifted. But with this bunch of shit the Democrats have dreamed up to impose on your business and your employment and your home? Are you kidding me? This Administration is intent on breaking the back of small business because the owning class represents the final frontier against which Obama’s Socialism is threatening.
The only way to move a majority of Americans back into the Republican column is to appeal to social moderates who choose small government, limited taxation, and strong national defense (that means securing our borders, too). No more legislating morality. Find out what states’ rights are really all about and start recognizing that only in a fair free market will we get our energy policies right, keep inflation low, and have real choices in education.
Pure Libertarianism is practically unattainable and logically incoherent in human society, but certain of its principles are quintessentially American. That force can be married to a fiscally sound Republican Party if only the Evangelical community will reconceive the importance of its beliefs in pluralistic terms.
Perhaps that, above all else, is a lesson we can take away from Barack Obama’s election: demography may be destiny, but a country’s character is also its fate. Let us embrace change for the right reasons and let us deliver ourselves from the Socialist catastrophe now staring us in the face.
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03.06.09
Posted in America, Big Media, Democrats, Election of 2010, New Economy, Obama Administration, Republicans, moonbats, stupidity at 9:32 pm by Toby Petzold
It’s an old observation, but one worth making again in light of the last few weeks of Rush Limbaugh’s sudden resurgence as Mr. Republican Party: the commercial success of conservative talk radio is a function of its ideological coherency and its pro-Americanism. That’s tough news to take for liberals who wish to bring back creepy statist bullshit like the so-called “Fairness Doctrine,” though. Turns out that most Americans don’t like being told that their country sucks and ought to be more like what the Euro-Socialists have.
If the economic and social message of the Left were acceptable as information or as entertainment or even as pure polemic, then that end of the political spectrum would have already succeeded in radio. But working Americans turn away from that loathing and childishness. Working Americans who are busy with their hands and have their eyes on the job have radio to inform them while they work.
I’ll bet there’s more than a few of Obamachrist’s followers who are not similarly “burdened.” They probably get their information from Judge Judy or Ruth Borehole instead.
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03.04.09
Posted in Big Media, Democrats, Election of 2010, Republicans at 8:44 pm by Toby Petzold
I’m not a member of the Republican Party, but I am sympathetic to many of its tenets and am not ashamed of the association. I’m also not a member of the Democratic Party, and although I identify with many of that party’s tenets, I find the association very uncomfortable and even nauseating. That’s where I stand on the partisan spectrum.
That said, I would advise the GOP to quit freaking out about its leaderlessness. And I agree that they are leaderless. But the immediate challenge for the minority party is to fight for capitalism and to fight for 2010. You people don’t need a leader right now; you need to individually engage yourselves with the imminent decline of Western Civilization and the nutbags who are precipitating it.
So they didn’t like Bobby Jindal’s performance in the post-coital glow Obamachrist gave us last month in his speech to the Politburo. So what? Who could follow such a gargantuan ego, anyhow? A similiarly-sized ego —Rush Limbaugh— then told Republicans who whined about Jindal where to get off. And now that the chairman of the RNC is quaking at Limbaugh’s displeasure on other grounds, this makes Limbaugh the head of the party? No, it doesn’t. But even if it did, at least it would mean that the GOP was led by someone whose political philosophy is coherent, honest, and well-informed. And that’s about the biggest compliment I can pay El Rushbo because I couldn’t stand listening to that guy for years. Bullies annoy me. But the man is his own man and he can be respected as a conservative thinker.
Who is the Democrats’ ideological champion? Who represents for them? Obamachrist? Hardly. He only represents himself —and does so by misrepresenting the facts of his life and now this awful agenda. There’s no center there to hold fast to except for ego. Ergo the picked fights with Limbaugh and Hannity. Ergo the vero possumus and the previctory lap through Eurabia and the Neo-Socialist Realism of his brand. The whole thing is Old World fascism and decadence and I hope it is soon shown the door.
You know where the Achilles heel is, so quit freaking out.
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02.25.09
Posted in America, Big Media, Democrats, Election of 2008, New Economy, Obama Administration, Republicans, Unexplained Mysteries at 7:34 pm by Toby Petzold
Here’s an editorial in the TimesOnline about Obama’s supposedly tin ear and blind eye for corruption (emphasis mine):
Yesterday Mr Obama was forced to introduce his third nominee for Commerce Secretary, the former Washington Governor Gary Locke, after his two previous candidates dropped out – the first, Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico, because of an investigation into possible corruption, and the second, Republican Senator Judd Gregg, from New Hampshire, over ideological differences. As for Tom Daschle, the President’s nominee for Health Secretary, he had to bow out of a job in the White House to spend more time with his unpaid taxes: it was curious enough to have chosen a candidate with tax difficulties, curiouser still for Mr Obama to have assumed that his nominee’s oversight would be brushed aside.
But it’s not really all that curious, is it? Obama dwells in such rarefied circles of adulation and reflected narcissism that he is sure of his own untouchability. Which beckons the tyrant. And he assumes —rightly, as he has been protected against normal public examination of his life by the most meretricious press ever— that his best judgements will be praised and his worst deemed inconsequential. Thus, there is no balance to this man; there is only the asymmetry of his ambition in our democratic republic —skewed beyond all proportion in one direction only.
Big Media made Barack Obama what he is. They conceived of him as an instrument of so-called social progress and perpetrated him upon this country. And what will become of us? We will be forced through a protracted period of economic extremism at the hands of a very aggressive post-American neo-socialist executive. This President will continue to use the spectres of economic depression and class warfare until he has gained what he wants, which is a diminished American state where he is the local warlord who giveth and taketh away.
Just remember that: this is a President of the United States who would prefer to see the economy worsen because then he can take FDR and LBJ one step further and institute an ever larger welfare state where everybody is answerable to him and his cronies.
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02.06.09
Posted in America, Democrats, Election of 2008, New Economy, Obama Administration, Republicans, personal, stupidity, treason at 10:53 pm by Toby Petzold
If Obamachrist is all about the Hope and Change, then why is he so intent on scaring the bejeezus out of the country? He’s a fucking drag on the economy every time he opens his mouth. Of course, if your true purpose is to take this country off into the weeds of Neo-Socialism, then undermining the free market with talk of irreversible catastrophe may be just the ticket.
Four more years of this alarmist nonsense, eh?
Nota bene: I will never support the Democratic Party again. I don’t think too much of the moronic Jesus freakery of the GOP, mind you, but the Democrats? They are shit to me. Treasonous, poisonous, alien-assed communist bastards. I’ll never trust another one as long as I live.
By the way, Ronald Reagan (who would have celebrated his 98th birthday today) was an optimist who delivered us from the evil of Carterism and who understood the genius of the American economy. President Newguy doesn’t know anything but class warfare and other turns at Marxist trickery.
Fuck him and his whole corrupt Administration —all of two and a half weeks old! What a disaster.
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10.17.08
Posted in America, Big Brother, Big Media, Democrats, Election of 2008, History, New Economy, Republicans, language, moonbats, stupidity, voting at 7:34 pm by Toby Petzold
If John McCain would simply describe Barack Obama as a socialist, wouldn’t that almost compel a public discussion of what that word means? I don’t think some people know what’s involved. “Spreading the wealth around” may sound like a great idea to a teenager who’s working for minimum-wage, but to the 40 year-old businessperson who hired this kid to stock the shelves, it’s worrisome to consider that taxes and employee-related costs are going up. As they say, poor people never gave anybody a job —unless you count jobs created by the social necessity of cleaning up after these same people’s mistakes. At that sort of job creation, the social, intellectual, and economic underclasses excel.
The Obamatons are becoming ever more explicit in their grand schemes for the post-Republican, post-American paradise of Obama’s socialist state. They are beginning to bully and cheat in broad daylight. They are, like the terrorists they sympathize and associate with, becoming emboldened. And to what end? To disincentivize work? To undermine the bases of competition and self-worth? To suppress political dissent for the sake of the “common good”? Well, there’s one for you and nineteen for me. Think that’s fanciful? Did you ever think you would see the economic events of the past six weeks? Neither did I.
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09.30.08
Posted in Big Media, Democrats, Election of 2008, New Economy, Republicans, Unexplained Mysteries, stupidity at 7:13 pm by Toby Petzold
I’m waiting for chattering sphincters like CNN’s Bill Schneider to explain to us how the failure of a Democrat-controlled Congress to pass a bailout bill is a “major blow” to John McCain’s campaign. What the fuck is he talking about?! Is there no longer even the pretense to coherency in what these propagandists do? The American public, in its collective wisdom, is overwhelmingly opposed to the bailout. To the extent that McCain’s influence with the House Republicans helped to kill this thing, that would be a good thing, Bill. For both the American taxpayer and for McCain. How do you not understand that? I suppose when the first purpose of your career as an analyst is to whore yourself out for the Democratic Party, it doesn’t really matter whether Nancy Pelosi is a liar who somehow couldn’t move forty percent of her own caucus to sign off on something that was apparently only intended to be used against their Republican opponents.
It is absurd how the economic events of the past two weeks have been spun into a peculiarly Republican problem by people like Schneider. Last time I checked, the Democratic Party controlled both houses of Congress. If La Pelosi had wanted, she could have whipped another dozen or more of her caucus into committing itself to this enormous bailout. The fact that she did not is the best evidence yet that her only intention was to pass something wildly unpopular that she could then dump on the Republicans’ laps in the name of “bipartisanship.” No way, lady. Try again.
I congratulate the House Republicans for resisting not only Bush and Paulson, but even Boehner and Cantor. Those guys aren’t the ones who have to worry about a rightfully suspicious public. When McCain chose to stand by those who refused to be bullied and goaded by Pelosi, it said to me that he knows how to take principled risks. Good for him and good for us all.
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09.27.08
Posted in America, Election of 2008, New Economy, Republicans, beauty at 9:09 pm by Toby Petzold
Watching C-SPAN on a Saturday night and there’s a man with the floor from Michigan’s 11th Congressional District who I am completely digging. Old school eloquence. Not dumbed down and plenty offended. Tell it, brother! Not ready to go along with Nancy Pelosi’s opinion of you as “unpatriotic” for not supporting a $700 [b]illion bail-out of plutocrats and con artists? Good. Don’t go out like a sucker. Kick ‘em in the nads. Represent your constituents’ interests. If Bush and Reid and Pelosi and Paulson want the money that badly, then let them take it. But you can hold your head high, Mr. McCotter.
God Bless America.
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