TOBY PETZOLD

When Al Gore accepted the Nobel Prize, he said that we human beings are the problem.

If that sort of self-loathing Leftist pessimism isn’t the direct descendant of the concepts of original sin and the unredeemed sinner, then it is their retarded nephew. Therefore, what Gore and the Gaiists are practicing is religion. Moreover, it is utterly derivative of Judeo-Christian morality, which must be just awful for these tweed jacketed and besandaled morans to finally recognize: “Wha-? We’re just as trapped by the oppressive orthodoxy of sin and redemption as mere Christianists and Neocons?!”

Just quit tripping and settle down, hippies. Come up with something slightly less insane than to promise a completely carbon-neutral America within ten years. Jesus, Gore! Put down that bong and be serious. 

Now that is real time, baby!

This global warming debate today is just so fucking historic!

Note to Dhimms: I don’t listen to you stupid bastards until you finally make the connection between reductions in oil importation and the necessity of legalizing hemp. Are we clear on that? Don’t give me Iowa corn subsidies and Bush the Younger’s bullshit “switchgrass” and all the rest of it until you grow some balls and make the case you know must be made. Period. It’s cowardice because you don’t want to go against the War on Drugs community of courts, attorneys, prisons (public and otherwise), and cops.

P.S. Using food stocks to produce ethanol at a loss is also raising the price of food and hurting working class Americans. Wake up, morans!

Senator Dodd just gave a great and honest answer on the decriminalization of marihuana. Good on him. There are too many people getting locked up in this country for what Governor Schwarzenegger just called a mere leaf.

Hemp for Victory!

Paul Mirengoff calls Democratic Representative John Murtha a “corrupt bully” —as evidenced in this Washington Post piece:

During a series of House votes Thursday, Murtha walked to the chamber’s Republican side to confront Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Mich., a 43-year-old former FBI agent. Earlier this month, Rogers had tried unsuccessfully to strike a Murtha earmark from an intelligence spending bill. The item would restore $23 million for the National Drug Intelligence Center, a facility in Murtha’s Pennsylvania district that some Republicans say is unneeded.

According to Rogers’ account, which Murtha did not dispute, the Democrat angrily told Rogers he should never seek earmarks of his own because “you’re not going to get any, now or forever.”

“This was clearly designed to try to intimidate me,” Rogers said in an interview Friday. “He said it loud enough for other people to hear.”

House rules prohibit lawmakers from placing conditions on earmarks or targeted tax benefits that are based on another member’s votes.

Murtha’s an asshole, too, but Democrats have chosen to reward him with some prominence in return for his participating in their opposition to the War for Iraq —just because he is a veteran of the Viet Nam War. This, as has been demonstrated to them before, is neither a qualification for moral superiority, nor a self-immunizing rebuke of “chickenhawkery” or whatever the fuck else the dhimmis wish to throw out there instead of ideas. But that’s what that is. Deep cynicism.

By the way, the NDIC is total fucking pork for Murtha’s constituents. That’s indisputable. But it’s also a Pentagon-funded Federal agency managed by the Department of Justice —which exists as some superfluous finger in the pie set aside for the Just Say No element in our Government. Lots of [counterintelligence] on the habits of marihuana growers and smokers. For instance. Is that really something you liberals are all queer about?

Why keep giving Murtha a pass? He’s not principled about anything. He just wants the lucre.

ESPN’s reporting that Ricky Williams has failed his piss test and cannot apply for reinstatement to the NFL until September.

I used to just shake my head a little and make a distracted expression when I’d hear about Williams’ seemingly deliberate inability to not smoke until it occurred to me —just now— that there’s nothing “seeming” about it: it is a deliberate refusal to not smoke.

It would be a good thing if this were widely used as a point of interest in the ongoing [debate] over the almost-incredible stupidity of the war on drugs and on marihuana, in particular, but some people have an interest in pretending that world-class athletes are somehow adversely affected by their use of marihuana. It isn’t true, though. Except, of course, as a legal and, therefore, professional matter. Otherwise, it is self-evidently stupid to suggest that these huge and powerful professional athletes are harming themselves with the recreational use of a plant.

Yeah, well. I know the sports community may speak to it, but it’s just going to be company man bullshit. 

These kinds of stories help change minds:

Three top prospects for this year’s NFL Draft have admitted to using marijuana, NFL team sources have confirmed to The Sports Xchange.

But sources also said the admissions should have little or no impact on their draft ratings.

The players cited are Georgia Tech wide receiver Calvin Johnson, Clemson defensive end Gaines Adams and Louisville defensive tackle Amobi Okoye. None of them tested positive for drugs in tests done by the NFL or in any of the random tests conducted in college by the NCAA.

According to ratings by NFLDraftScout.com, each player is the top prospect at his position. Johnson is ranked as the top player in the entire draft, Adams is seventh and Okoye 10th.

Do you think anybody worth listening to is going to think any less of these guys on account of pot? It’s a joke to think about. Are they less likely or qualified to be favorites of the fans and even heroes to our youth?

It’s not like these guys are Len Bias, you know. Let’s draw some distinctions and stop being such fucking cops about everything.

Texas gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman is calling for the decriminalization of marihuana. 

He also said he would favor a review of people already imprisoned on marijuana charges to “rehab them, try to get them back into society.”

“We’ve got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians,” said Friedman, a humorist and author.

Friedman said he doesn’t yet have specifics on how decriminalization would work, including what amount of marijuana a person could possess without being charged. He did say that he doesn’t favor making marijuana legally available for purchase.

“I’m not talking about like Amsterdam,” he said.

Well, that’s fine. We don’t have to start with the ideal fully in place.

Unfortunately, the straights and the squares are going to hear Friedman’s proposal and take a big ol’ righteous wizz on it because they happen to know better than the rest of us. “That damned Kinky Friedman’s lookin’ to sell dope to the kids? To hell with that. I’m voting for Perry!”

All cringing aside, I’m proud of Kinky for bringing up this issue. It shows real political courage —whatever the anti-marihuana conservatives might say.

Indeed, if the issue of decriminalizing marihuana were debated honestly, the pro-hemp crowd would win on every merit.

For instance: illegal marihuana is a huge inducement to cross-border smuggling and the concomitant illegal immigration factor. I don’t know the numbers off the top of my head, but is there any doubt that marihuana smuggling into Texas from Mexico accounts for a very large percentage of the non-labor traffic at our borders? That’s something that the Republicans and the anti-immigration movement is supposed to be interested in, right? So why are we practically inviting this element into Texas by making marihuana smuggling profitable? It’s stupid.

The original stupidity, of course, is to be found in the indiscriminate treatment of all drugs. No cop or prosecutor or judge who’s not a liar is going to sit there and tell you that marihuana usage is somehow comparable to cocaine, crack, meth, and heroin. It’s just not. Marihuana never killed anybody —but those other drugs kill people by the score every day and every night in this and every other state of the union.

At some point, logic and morality are going to have to rear their ugly heads in this matter and make it plain to all that the war on drugs is a smouldering loaf of injustice, waste, corruption, and ignorance.

In some small way, I think that Kinky Friedman’s common sense proposal will help to make this debate more feasible. But, first, you gotta vote for him.

A relative of mine left a voicemail for me a while ago, asking if I had heard what he had just heard some part of on the radio —and could not quite believe.

Yes, I had heard it. And it’s true:

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Owning marijuana, cocaine and even heroin will no longer be a crime in Mexico if the drugs are carried in small amounts for personal use, under legislation passed by the Congress.

Police will not penalize people for possessing up to 5 grams of marijuana, 5 grams of opium, 25 milligrams of heroin or 500 milligrams of cocaine, under a bill passed by senators late on Thursday and earlier approved by the lower house.

People caught with larger quantities of drugs will be treated as narcotics dealers and face increased jail terms under the plan.

The government says the measure allows police to focus on major drug dealers, and President Fox is expected to sign it into law.

Tell me now that President Bush has any stroke at all with the Mexican government or its political culture.

If When this measure goes through, it will be one of the most perfectly-delivered kicks to the groin of US-Mexican relations ever.

You can walk around Mexico with five grams of kind bud and los federales won’t touch you?

The War on Drugs is over, friends.

Mexico won.