TOBY PETZOLD

I didn’t get to watch The Sopranos series finale on Sunday with the rest of the country because I was watching Game Two of the NBA Finals, but I lucked out and caught a repeat last night.

I’m not upset —or passionate in any way— about the sudden cut-to-black-and-silence ending of this great show because I stopped being passionate about The Sopranos a long time ago. When it did occur to me to catch an episode, it was mostly to catch up with them as a family and to respect the totality of David Chase’s vision. Whatever else there is to say about his show, one must say it was damned good television.

Anyhow, the best thing about the whole episode is Paulie’s relationship with the cat that comes to live with them when they go to the mattresses. Paulie stays permanently freaked out by the cat because of its bizarre obsession with Christopher’s portrait. And with Paulie himself. The shot of this beautiful orange tabby’s almost-human expression as it gazes on the portrait —followed by Paulie’s entrance and ridiculous overreaction to him— is a total riot. I was practically breathless with laughter.

Oh, well. The show’s over. But at least there’s all those fond memories of Lorraine Bracco’s fantastic legs.

Christopher Hitchens captures the obscenity of Paris Hilton at the hands of Big Media and this culture:

Not content with seeing her undressed and variously penetrated, it seems to be assumed that we need to watch her being punished and humiliated as well. The supposedly “broad-minded” culture turns out to be as prurient and salacious as the elders in The Scarlet Letter. Hilton is legally an adult but the treatment she is receiving stinks—indeed it reeks—of whatever horrible, buried, vicarious impulse underlies kiddie porn and child abuse.

I cannot imagine what it might be like, while awaiting a prison sentence for a tiny infraction, to see dumb-ass TV-addicted crowds howling with easy, complicit laughter as Sarah Silverman (a culpably unfunny person) describes your cell bars being painted to look like penises and jokes heavily about your teeth being at risk because you might gnaw on them. And this on prime time, and unrebuked. Lynching parties used to be fiestas, as we have no right to forget, and the ugly coincidence of sexual nastiness—obscenity is the right name for it—and vengefulness is what seems to lend the savor to the Saturnalia.

Pedophiliac chimps is what they are. But they wouldn’t cater to it if there weren’t a market. So what is left of Big Media’s legitimacy? They’re straight-up pr0n. Read what you know and don’t forget to ignore degenerate cable news. Hell, I wouldn’t even look at the local news except for the weather and to salivate over Michelle Valles’ sacredness for a couple minutes.

Oh, shit. They done got me good!

Civil war in Gaza? Another Syrian assassination of a Lebanese political family? The Golden Mosque destroyed again?

Let’s tune into the major cable news outlets, shall we?

At 8:40 PM CDT, Headline News has Glenn Beck talking Democratic Party politics with Dennis Leary. Ronald Reagan’s adopted son is on MSNBC talking about Dan Rather’s criticism of Katie Couric. Matt Lauer’s talking to Larry on CNN about Rather criticizing Couric. And —hey! Sean Hannity’s talking about Gaza on FNC.

But what else would you expect from a Jew-run neocon propaganda machine?

I didn’t like Ben Harper’s interpretation of the “Star-Spangled Banner” at the start of tonight’s basketball game in Cleveland. It sounded almost untalented, although I understand how that might just be me expecting to hear Jimi Hendrix’s version of it from the morning of Monday, 18 August 1969.

Dang! It sure gets quiet when the Spurs score a basket!

How has the War for Iraq made the United States less safe?

You know what the creepiest thing is about Taco Bell’s “Fourthmeal” campaign? The sound of the term itself mimics the conceptual timber of related words —like breakfast. Or even religious ones like Shrovetide or Whitsunday. And to what purpose?

That ye might go unto the midnight feast and be sated.

The religiosity of munchiness.

For righteousness’ sake.

I don’t think much of polls because I don’t think they should be used as a means of governing. That may be an undemocratic take on the vox populi —but it’s the properly republican one. People who don’t know what they’re voting for or who have no discernible rationale for believing as they do (i.e., knowing what the fuck they’re talking about) should neither go to the polls nor take any.

Nevertheless, let me savor this pole, as it were. According to Scott Rasmussen:

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is now viewed favorably by 19% of American voters and unfavorably by 45%. Just 3% have a Very Favorable opinion while 22% hold a Very Unfavorable views.

Reid has been very visible over the past week in the furor over immigration reform. The effort to pass a bill that was more popular in Congress than among voters may have hurt public perceptions of the Democratic leader. His ratings are down from a month ago when 26% had a favorable opinion of the Democratic Senator. Reid’s highest ratings were 30% favorable in February.

Ha, ha! But you know what’s even worse?

Vice President Dick Cheney’s numbers held steady—38% favorable and 58% unfavorable.

Wha-?! Dick Cheney’s more popular than Reid? WTF?!

And now for the unkindest cut of all. Scooter Libby:

is now viewed favorably by just 19% of Americans, unfavorably by 57%.

Are you serious?! After outing Valerie Plame in a crazy bid for the Treason Hall of Fame, Scooter Libby is just as popular as the Democratic Majority Leader of the United States Senate?

Ha, ha, ha. That shit is beyond parody.

Katrina was an inside job.

John Burns, the widely-respected reporter for the New York Times (a phrase that verges on mutual exclusivity), just told Gwen Ifill that suicide bombings are down in Baghdad —but are up elsewhere in Iraq because that’s where al-Qaeda has gone to commit their atrocities.

Who does Burns think he’s kidding? There’s no al-Qaeda in Iraq! And even if there is, there’s only a couple dozen members for show —and they’re all collecting paychecks from Halliburton and blunting Occam’s razor.

If only we had carpet-bombed Tora Bora! They were all there at one time, you know. And the problem of destroying mass murdering Islamofascists would have ended there, too.

Damn you, Chimperor! Damn you and your neocon puppetmasters to hell!!!

Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean says:

“The American people hired Democrats last November to ensure that we end this war,” Dean said during the weekly Democratic radio address. “So let me be clear, we know that if we don’t keep our promise, we may find ourselves the minority again.”

To seek to end this war for the purpose of keeping a campaign promise is wrong on many levels.

For one, it is a misdiagnosis of what put the Democrats back in power. For another, it is a misunderstanding of what America is willing to endure. For a third, it is irresponsible. And it is also a glimpse into the truth about what use the Democrats have made of the War for Iraq: it is a partisan thing to be exploited. With the help of their many allies in Big Media, Democrats have done everything they can to propagandize this war as a disaster that has made us less safe. And when this is done as insistently as breathing, it becomes clear that the Democrats use fear and cynicism to undermine our ultimate purpose in Iraq as much as terrorists use IEDs and suicide bombings to murder the Iraqi people and our troops.

If Democrats aren’t al-Qaedist sympathizers, why is it that their war aims are so similar? They both want the war to end before America and our friends can fully capitalize on the sacrifices that have been made for Iraq. It’s kinda creepy, frankly. I mean, when Senator Levin asks General Lute whether we’re going to set up permanent bases in Iraq as though we had no business to, you know that Levin doesn’t get it yet.

(Hat tip to the Gateway Pundit.)