Lysergical Instruments
It’s come up before, but let me propose it again.
There is no reason for the United States military to waterboard Islamofascist murderers —or to play them bad 80s hair band music (at 11) or threaten their families or their family jewels or anything like that to get information out of them.
I suggest, instead, that our military intelligence personnel spike these terrorists’ morning coffee with lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). Give ‘em a major dose of acid and work on them until they don’t know the difference between thought and speech —or between weasels and clouds.
It’s said that the CIA once plotted to slip Fidel a major dose of LSD —although I don’t know if they had any plan in mind for how to manage the situation afterwards. But with isolated terrorist suspects and detainees, the administration of LSD —accompanied by a comprehensive program of psychological insinuation, deprogramming, and mind-fucking— is a safe and humane way of getting information out of them without leaving any visible scars whatsoever.