More on the Impurification of My Precious Bodily Fluids
As hard as it is to believe, I really have come to the conclusion that aspertame is a sinister substance. My recent consumption patterns tell me this —and it’s just a huge surprise to believe that it could have contributed to any sort of health problem for me; viz., a nagging cough that is now largely gone.
For one thing, I have been a consumer of Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper and pretty much any other calorie-free carbonated beverage you can think of for most of the past two decades. I was, until about six or so weeks ago, probably a six-pack-a-day consumer of these drinks. I do love the cold burn and, although I am mostly unaware of it —probably on account of developing a high tolerance from its overuse— the buzz a nice cold soda pop gives me.
I have surely kept an army of hobos in liquor for all the aluminum cans I have given them to recycle over the years.
It’s crazy, isn’t it? I think people’s immune systems change over the course of their lives. And I figure that aspertame has somehow been getting into my body’s mucus production plants and just completely fucking up everything. I don’t know how, but it’s right up there with fluoridation, Mandrake.
How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh?
