I Slapped My Forehead
I actually slapped my forehead when I read the following story this morning:
CHICAGO — A Cook County judge has decided there is enough evidence to prosecute a man who says an airport security guard misheard him when she thought he said that a sexual device in his backpack was actually a bomb.
Mardin Amin claims he actually told the guard the small, black object was a “pump” – as in a penis pump.
Amin’s attorney said her client was embarrassed to explain the object in front of his mother, who was traveling with him, so he whispered. The guard misunderstood, and thought he said “bomb,” according to defense attorney Eileen O’Neill-Burke.
“His mother is standing there so, under his breath, he says, ‘It’s a pump. Put it away. Put it away,’” O’Neill-Burke told The Associated Press on Thursday. The guard asked him again and he repeated that the object was a pump, the attorney said.
This is the most ridiculous story I will ever read.
For one thing, what kind of fucking morons do we have guarding our nation’s airports? Is it even possible that a trained security officer of any kind would believe that a penis pump is a bomb? It’s pathetic.
For another, why would someone who’s stupid enough to take a penis pump with him in his carry-on luggage actually go to the next level of stupidity by telling such a moron that the penis pump is a bomb?
Oh, and why do we have judges who are so stupid as to believe that such a case merits prosecution? Because people are idiots. Like Mardin Amin:
Amin told the Chicago Sun-Times after the hearing that security officials did not give him a chance to explain the misunderstanding, that he would never use the word “bomb” while going through a security checkpoint, and does not consider a penis pump an unusual object to own.
“It’s normal,” he said. “Half of America they use it.”
What?! “Half of America” means that every guy in America uses a penis pump. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t consent to sticking my johnson into any such contraption.
How the hell do people look each other in the eye anymore?
